Bully Bywater Blasts Boyish Botany Bay
Isambard 189-3 dec. (38 overs) (D. Bywater 101 not out, S. Codling 26).
Botany Bay 2nd XI 90-8 (36 overs) (Bywater 3-8, S. O'Brien 3-26). Match Drawn.
An intrepid Isambard team lead by Captain 'Cook' Malin ventured north, and managed to avoid: being rained off, the NSPCC, Age Concern, taking any catches, and victory.
Despite discussion of "Transportation to Botany Bay", the team that arrived still contained a number of fearless Australians. As the cars pulled into the grounds, all the players felt that they had finally arrived on the stage that they were born for. A picturesque ground, with a two storey pavilion, separate scorebox, three permanent nets, and a verdant outfield that resembled a bowling green. A friendly grey-haired fellow greeted the boys, introduced himself as the opposition captain, and jokingly suggested the team avail themselves of the facilities offered by the well-appointed bar. He barely managed to avoid the stampede of Antipodeans (and,to be fair, natives) who acquired pints of strong French lager in a traditional pre-match warm up.
Strolling out to the middle to examine the pitch, pints in hands, Isambard were swiftly disabused of the idea of getting acclimated to the conditions. They would actually be playing across the road, on a slightly less salubrious ground. Pints and players transported themselves across a stream of traffic, and decided that the pitch there would be slightly more sporting.
When the captain finally arrived (last on duty yet again!), Isambard discovered they would be batting first. Adam Malin and Simon Codling put on the pads, readying themselves to open, as the opposition captain appeared. He was doing a passable impression of the Pied Piper of Hamelin, followed as he was by a collection of 10 children. Clearly Isambard now fancied their chances of winning a boat race in the bar afterwards, if not the match itself.
Appearances can be deceptive however, and the youthful opening bowlers found some good areas, and some movement off the pitch (admittedly mostly variation in bounce than off the seam). Codling and Malin took a cautious approach, although Malin brought back memories of seasons past with a pair of thumping drives through mid-off to the boundary. Unfortunately, the next thumping was of the ball onto his off stump, and the crowd (I use the word loosely, in fact as loose as Abi Titmuss's flaps. Happy Mark?) were left wondering what might have been.
Dave Bywater strode out to the crease, once the pint of 1664 had been prised from his fingers, and took up the fight. With Codling filling the "Kiwi Boycott" role usually filled by Sir Richie, Bywater began fearlessly smashing the 13 year old bowlers all around the park. The opposition captain brought himself on to bowl at this point, serving up some canny medium-slow bowling. Bywater, clearly more concerned more about Help The Aged getting on to him than Childline, found runs harder to come by, and contented himself with clubbing the children over mid on. Upon being told that one of the minors was celebrating his birthday, the compassionate Aussie replied, "Well, this'll be something for him to remember then." All heart.
A steadying influence at the other end, Codling finally got hold of a cut shot, timing it straight out of the middle. Straight out of the middle to the fielder at point, but he did express some pleasure at having finally hit one as he made his way back to the hutch. Two breaks for rain did little to stop Bywater, although his ancient bat was less fortunate, unable to cope with the dampness. Richard Robinson had his first bat for Isambard, and looked organised and capable, and was a little unfortunate to be dismissed for just 8. Bailey followed him in to bat, and looked both disorganised and less than capable, perhaps prodding Roxy Bywater into action. Sensing a declaration, and possibly a run out caused by his partner, Dave smashed the Pied Piper's 13th over for 23 runs, bringing up his century in the process. This brought about the declaration, and left Bailey cruelly stranded 41 runs short of his half century. It also left Pete Brooks cruelly on the boundary's edge once again, padded up but yet to bat in two appearances for Isambard. Better start petitioning the captain now for a move up the order!
After another decent tea (they do seem to have been very good this year), Isambard took the field confident of forcing a victory in one of those time games that are so popular with the team. An aggressive field was set, and Windscreens O'Brien opened the bowling in his usual fashion, giving little away and causing both batsmen problems. Geoff Collins shared the "new" ball, and bowled well, with a slow run up, but a deceptively quick arm action. Scotty plucked out both the openers clean bowled, who were attempting forward defensive shots, an impressive feat. As Codling had substituted for Gardiner in the batting line-up, Bailey substituted for him in the field. This was unfortunate for Collins, who induced a edge, which Bailey duely dropped at second slip, not before letting it hit him in the stomach. This was the only real chance in the field, and despite Bailey's blunder, the ground fielding was generally excellent.
Our debtutant for the day, John Ellis, came on first change and bowled impressively, keeping the pressure on the batsmen. At this stage though, the "honourable" draw was clearly on the youngsters' minds (what kind of lesson is that to teach them? I ask you!) and Ellis was withdrawn after a parsiminous four over spell that cost just 5 runs. Malin A was searching for wickets, and he turned to Malin D. Disco was right on the money from ball one, and the whippersnappers had respect for their elders, treating each delivery with great respect. It was a scene reminiscent of Madras (at least in the opinion of the short midwicket fielder).
Dave couldn't tease a wicket either, so Robinson was called in to the attack, fresh from his almost hat-trick last week. Richie delivered, cleaning up the number three batsman with a cracking delivery. Bywater was belatedly brought in to the attack, his introduction delayed perhaps to provide mitigating evidence in the child abuse case that Hertfordshire Social Services must surely be considering bringing to court. Bowling fast(ish), straight(ish), and full(ish), he troubled the timbers again, and Isambard perhaps started to sense a victory. Throw in a run out (O'Brien-Robinson, with a throw just inaccurate enough to allow Richie to showboat throwing down the stumps at the bowler's end) and the game was on. A brief two over stint from Bailey, in an attempt to purchase a wicket, merely delayed O'Brien's return to the attack, and Scotty delivered again, firing one past another forward defensive stroke. Bywater frightened another child into missing a straight ball, and we were into the final over.
Three wickets needed, with the man of the match already in the bag, could Dave Bywater put the cherry on the sundae? No, although he mixed in another wicket (bowled yet again), a chest high full toss, a run up longer than Joel Garner's ever was, and a "cunning" slower delivery that he failed to signal to the wicketkeeper.
All in all, a disappointing match for Isambard, not managing to force a result, although it was certainly good to manage to get a game in between the showers. Some good individual performances, and perhaps the result of the day was that we were invited back to this quality ground, this year even, if we are short of a fixture. In all seriousness, Dave Bywater showed what a dangerous all-round cricketer he can be, particularly after a couple of pints, and playing against guys half his age, and Isambard got a good all-round bowling performance, showing some real strength in depth. Roll on next week!
Match report by Paul Bailey.
