Sunday 6 May
Great Scott! Rye smiles all round
Isambard 187 all out (40 overs) (D.Steedman 57, D.Tierney 33, P.Bailey 24). Rye 186-9 (40 overs) (S.O'Brien 4-12). Isambard won by one run (40-over game).
Rye. It's a name that conjures up images of a windy coastline, some kind of grain, and, as more than a few Isambard players discovered, local organic cider. That and Jon "Edmund Hillary" Taylor's legendary effort of climbing back into a hotel room at 3am that he was sharing with Scott O'Brien.
Finding himself locked out of said accommodation at the Ship Inn after a hard night on the cider, "Twinkle toes Taylor" used no less than the back of a pick-up truck, a mossy rooftop, and some desperate drunken scrambling to limberly find his way through the window. Or so the story goes.
But it was Taylor's bedfellow O'Brien who displayed the full 4¼-inches of his wooden blade to the Rye boys on Sunday, as well as teaching them a thing or two about how to play with leather, scoring a quickfire 16 and taking match-winning figures of 4-12 off seven overs.
Skipper Dermot Steedman got the season off to a blinder by winning the toss and electing to bat, opening the batting with Rich Gardiner. With his comely girlfriend watching on the sidelines, Sir Rich knew whose company he would rather be in, subsequently allowing himself to be castled without troubling the scorers.
His replacement, Mark Wembridge, also appeared to be in a rush to get back to the bar, deciding to give Skipper Steedman a brisk 30-min aerobic workout by forcing him to run twos. It was not a pretty sight, and nor was it the way to curry favour with the captain. Inevitably Wembridge, running between wickets like a chav pursuing a can of Stella down a hill, ran himself out when attempting a foolish 3rd run on a pin-point throw from the boundary line.
Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Steedman set about thrashing the Rye bowlers around the vast yet quick outfield, bringing up Isambard's first individual 50 of the 2007 season. But it didn't last, and he was bowled by a wicked inswinging, demon-slow off-spinner for 57.
In a scene reminiscent of the filming of Lord of the Rings, Kiwi power ruled Middle Earth for a time, with Dave Tierney and Simon Codling taking centre stage over the hobbits of Rye CC. Codling then ruined it all when he called for a quick single, ran most of the way down the pitch, realised DT was totally inert, and was unsuccessful in his attempt to meander back to his crease.
Belt-loving fashionista Nick Tuohy came in and threw the bat about, holding onto the handle most of the time. While wickets continued to fall, some tail-end willow-wielding from Ben Webb, Paul Bailey and Scott O'Brien (16) managed to stretch the final score to 187 off 40 overs.
In reply, Rye's opener "Badger" - a bristling batsmen who allegedly lives near Ratty and Toad by the riverbank - was bowled off the first ball of the innings by a Scotty O'Brien inswinging yorker. To make things exciting, Paul Bailey then dropped a dolly at point, before redeeming himself shortly afterwards, clinging onto a much tougher chance.
Over the day the End-of-Season Dropped Catches Fund received a hefty top-up, with Sir Rich failing to hold any of the three chances offered to him. Add Paul's bobble and two more from Ben Webb, and the fund is looking extraordinarily healthy so early in the year. Keep up the good work, lads!
Serious inroads into the Rye top order were made, with Scotty O'Brien getting amongst the wickets. It was then that the potentially match-winning partnership was formed. Two Rye batsmen, clad in their lucky underwear and each sporting a pocket of four-leaf clovers, managed to eke out an edgy lucky 97-run partnership.
With Rye requiring just three to win from eight balls, it was Scotty O'Brien who broke the partnership, allowing skipper Steedman to bowl the final over. His first ball was a beauty, and in spite of Rye's corpulent batsman putting his full weight behind the shot, he missed the ball completely and was bowled.
Steedman then sent down four unplayable deliveries that the batsman failed to get a touch on. The final ball was played straight to Jon "Twinkle Toes" Taylor, who confirmed his nickname by misfielding, dancing a few turns around the stationary ball, pretending to pick it up, and then finally underarming the cherry to Steedman, who thankfully completed the run out. First game of the season, and a win by a solitary run.
Monday 7 May
Cider-delic Isambard with hangover, squared
Isambard 159-8 (35 overs) (S.Codling 38, P.Bailey 33, J.Hamilton 23). Rye 160-2 (30 overs). Rye won by eight wickets (35-over game).
How can you get food poisoning from a diet consisting of nothing but organic cider? That was the question surrounding the sickness of Dave Tierney's (admittedly rather sexy) girlfriend on Monday morning, causing the big man to pull out (pun intended) of the all-important follow-up second-chance winner-take-all match against Rye CC.
Come 1pm on match day rumours circulating Rye concluded that the real reason behind Tierney's no-show was in fact a severe case of grovelling to said girlfriend, caused by her intense dislike of watching beer-bellied men run chase after a piece of red leather.
With hindsight, it's probably a good thing that Tierney and bird failed to attend Monday's match, such was the sub-standard level of cricket displayed by Isambard's somewhat hungover crew (see Rye Sunday match report).
Bolstered by a couple of ringers from Rye - crack opening batsman "Badger", a useful pre-pubescent bowler named Craig, and a surprisingly talent-free Aussie named Nathan - the Isambard boys were sweating stale cider and a tad complacent.
A scheduling mix-up resulted in the match being reduced to 35-overs per side. As such, Sir Rich had no hesitation in batting first on a reasonable deck.
Glorious cover drives, savage pulls, clobbered square cuts and delicate glances - these were among the many recognised cricketing shots that Isambard players did not play on that windy day.
The Badger growled his way through the opening bowlers, belting a few boundaries on his way to a swift 23. Sir Rich and Mark Wembridge came and went, barely troubling the scorers, before Simon Codling and Paul Bailey set about making the bulk of the runs.
When Codling was castled and Bailey stumped, the tail attempted to wag, with Scotty O'Brien managing 14 valuable runs, but a target of 160 was hardly the stuff of nightmares for Rye CC.
With O'Brien's room-sharing shenanigans the previous evening with Jon Taylor still looming at the back of his mind (again, see Sunday's match report), he was not his usual force. O'Brien's figures of 1-30 off 7 overs were not up to his usual high standards, and the boys let him know it.
In spite of keeping things tight for long periods - Ben Webb and Nick Tuohy bowling accurately - and a fluked caught and bowled by Wembridge, two of Rye's batsmen proceeded to pummel Isambard's cider-affected bowlers to all parts.
Naturally, we blamed the bumpy outfield for our misfortunes, parts of which sported cracks bigger than Beth Ditto's, resulting in somewhat uneven bounce. The sight of Bailey at long-off ducking and dodging the high-speed leather heading his direction is forever burned in the memories of many Isambard boys.
Inevitably, Rye overhauled our diminutive total with time and eight wickets to spare, bringing to an end a long weekend of cricket and cider. Honours were even, heads were held high, and Nick Tuohy picked up a snazzy belt for his missus. A great weekend all round.
Reports by Mark Wembridge.
